Overly Critical

There is a pre-cancer that plagues many individuals, marriages, work staff, and churches. I say pre-cancer, because it has the potential to spread and cause great harm if left unchecked, but also, it is treatable and can be taken care of if caught early enough. Hopefully this will help catch it in you before it ruins some great things around you.

The pre-cancer I am talking about is a spirit of being overly critical. (Some of the overly critical people are already thinking—just by reading that line—“but what about real concerns?”…If that’s you, you are definitely one of the people who needs this the most. Your heart default is to criticize. Keep reading.)

Being overly critical reveals more about our heart than it does about what we are criticizing.

Luke 6:41-42 says,

“41 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye.”

Directly following that passage, which we don’t usually take in the same context, but they should be, verses 43-45 say,

“43 “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

The overly critical person is the person who is often speaking criticisms. That is an overflow of their heart. There is great pride in the heart of the person who speaks many criticisms, thinking "only my way is right,” which is why they criticize others’ ways. And what they vocalize isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of all their criticisms, which is an extremely dangerous place for any heart.

If that’s you, check your heart and check your eyes. Your heart will become a lot healthier when you remove the log from your eye. Humility is one of the great characteristics of Christ we are supposed to model (Phil. 2:5-11). Humility says, 1) They matter more than me; 2) They might be right; 3) I need just as much grace as them.

On a practical level, being overly critical causes great harm. Here are a few ways:

It causes division between individuals.

Nobody likes being constantly criticized. Once, “thank you for caring.” Twice, “I’m glad you saw that again.” Fifth, “you’re out to get me.” People then start avoiding people. Hearts that are supposed to be working together are divided and opposed, and it started with a wedge of overly-criticalness. Likely, the other person does things differently, not necessarily wrong or bad. Different doesn’t mean wrong.

Being overly critical causes lack of support, excitement, and buy in.

When you are overly critical, it causes you to not get excited about good things that are happening—how could you when you think there’s a dumpster fire over there? In reality there may be a tiny trashcan flame that you are blowing out of proportion and it’s causing you to not celebrate what God is doing and giving Him the glory due His name. What a great travesty. God has been robbed of much glory by overly critical hearts.

When that happens, it also causes people to not buy in to support the good things that are happening around them. There’s resistance to forward progress. So, that stunts even better things from happening. There’s a lack of joy and excitement from within, and there’s a lack of support and buy in externally. And that just fuels the cycle of overly-criticalness.

When it comes time for legitimate criticism, it falls on deaf ears. (Like the boy who cried wolf.)

There are legitimate criticisms that need to be made. Notice, I have been saying “overly” critical this whole time. Things that are broken need fixing. But not everything needs fixing. When a legitimate criticism comes their way after someone has been constantly criticized, how would they be able to differentiate? They’ve likely been tuning out the criticisms for a while now. Is this one of your “I wouldn’t do it that way” matters or a “I know better than you” matter or a “This is how we’ve always done it” matter or “This is a really dangerous situation” matter? There’s no way to know. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. Major problems then won’t get fixed because they’re lost in the cacophony of minor annoyances.

It causes us individually not to grow.

When we’re overly critical, we don’t practice the Christ-like virtue of humility. We don’t learn from others, because we think we know how things should function and operate. We don’t listen to people. We don’t grow beyond ourselves (which we are a lot smaller than we think). You need to grow beyond yourself. You won’t if you are overly critical.

It causes us individually to miss opportunities.

Think of all the opportunities people have missed out on because they were overly critical. Think of all the people who weren’t reached with the gospel because of one specific thing about an outreach event that an individual disagreed with. Think about all the church functions people missed out on fellowship and service because they didn’t like a detail about it or some minute part of the planning. Think about all of the Bible studies people missed out on because they had something against that one person in attendance. It is unfathomable the amount of missed opportunities we have in our lives because of our overly-critical heart.

It causes us to be ineffective.

When the church—and individuals therein—becomes overly-critical, it can cause it to become ineffective. It begins devouring itself instead of reaching the world and glorifying God. We are meant to work together. There are over fifty “one-another” commands in the New Testament, telling how we are to relate to one another. When we’re overly criticizing and backbiting, that’s not one-anothering one another. That’s not partnering in the gospel with thanksgiving and joy (Phil. 1:3-5).

Fortunately, this pre-cancer is treatable. Ephesians 4:29 gives us the prescription: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Will you do that? Will you check your heart and challenge your mouth? Will you practice building up instead of tearing down? And if you notice yourself having more than one or two criticisms, I want you to ask the question, “Why?” And be honest to God with the answer.

If your heart is at all challenged by this, please read the following articles as well. God wants your heart, and He wants you to give Him glory in all that He is doing. And I hope your eyes are opened to see all that He is doing.

https://www.gotquestions.org/critical-spirit.html

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/how-can-i-resist-a-critical-spirit